Saturday, November 17, 2012

Fears Be Gone, A Life-giving Choice (Pt.4)

 
If there are two sides to everything and there always is, then there are two sides to every situation we encounter in life.  One side may be, it’s too scary” to go through with this, but the other side may be, it’s going to be fun.” If we can’t answer 100% that it is going to be “scary and disastrous” then there is a slight chance that it is going to be “fun and successful.”  So we must ask our selves are we sure this is going to be scary? Is it true it is going to be fun? We might say, “Well no I am not 100% sure it is going to be scary.” So then we have an equal chance that it could be scary or fun. Then we have a choice to process either way. We can choose that  it is going to be scary or we can choose that it is going to be fun. This gives us more than one option mentally, emotionally and spiritually to operate out of. Personally I like to have more than one option when doing anything.

If we choose scary, then we probably are going to postpone the situation or avoid it as long as possible because we don’t like scary things. Why would we want to do something scary when we could go watch a movie or take a nap instead?  If, in our mind, this is going to be fun, then we can have the emotional energy and drive to move forward. We can choose either one we want. If we choose that this is going to be fun, then we need to say it out loud to ourselves, “This is going to be fun.” Whether it is 100% is not the issue anymore. The issue is we can choose one side.One side is very empowering and the other is very disempowering. One choice taps into our enthusiasm and our passion. The other one shuts them down.


As I write this I am scheduled to have my second meeting with a very challenging individual. This person is very bright and well educated. They are also very opinionated and stubborn. They have already had meetings with many others about the same situation they face with no positive results. This person has great needs. They also have character “blind spots” that are causing a large portion of these needs. So I get to be the one to communicate these blind spots and challenge them to make the necessary character changes that will result in a better life for them.  Now I could view this as scary because this person has a borderline personality disorder and could respond in many different ways. Or, I could be the thermostat in this situation and choose to set the “temperature” by deciding that our meeting is going to be interesting and fun, an adventure where we both learn and grow. Now, in truth it may turn out disastrous. But since I get to decide my posture and point of view, I choose “fun and successful”. I choose words that tap into my enthusiasm and curiosity. Both of these energize me to want to meet again and see what happens. I asked myself the question, “Is it going to be scary? Is that really true? Can I be 100% sure about this? Is there any possibility that this meeting is going to turn out any other way? Is it possible that it will not be scary?”  

I can choose the disposition out of which to operate. I have the right to do that. Again, I choose “fun and successful.”

It is taking conscious responsibility for what we are saying and thinking, especially in light of the fact that we have God helping us. This is why I know that faith connects with God. This takes it from positive thinking to the spirit realm. Just like the woman who went to Jesus and asked him to heal her daughter of demons but he ignored her. ”Why should I give the crumbs from the children’s table to the dogs?” said Jesus. But she didn’t stop there. She had a disposition, a belief system in her that did not see “fear and rejection” but “opportunity and freedom” for her daughter. And in Matthew 15:26-28 8 NIV, we see she got what she decided.

. To be life giving requires us to make a decision about how we are thinking. It requires us to intentionally ask a different question.

It’s a life-giving question to be sure.

Alex Anderson
 
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